I couldn't sleep. It was about 5:30 in the morning, The last time I spoke to my husband Osama Bin Laden had just been captured and killed. Things were crazy in Iraq around that time, or at least that's what my husband told me. What seemed like an easy deployment at the U.S. Embassy turned into a nightmare. I was on edge. I had this sneaking suspicion that it wasn't the news of Bin Laden's capture that was making my husband unavailable every night lately.
As, I tossed and turned, I thought about how it seemed that my husband was missing in action every night. Something told me, "Go check his email." I debated with myself for a few minutes. I finally went to yahoo and entered the password. I got a message saying the password was invalid. That couldn't be right, after all I was the one that created this email account for him right before the deployment. I entered the password again, no luck. Next I clicked on Forgot Password. I entered the answers to the security questions to gain access. At this point I new something was wrong. As soon as I gained access to the emails I see nude pictures of a female...I was shocked.
I look at the nude pictures of this woman and I am in disbelief. I click on the emails hoping to find that these nude pictures were sent to him unsolicited. No! Not my husband! Not the man who said he would never cheat! As I click on the emails I read conversations where my husband is telling this woman how much he can't stop thinking about her. He tells her how he hopes he didn't disappoint her in the bedroom. A part of me was afraid for his safety over there fighting for his country. While he was emailing back and forth about his many sexual encounters with this woman.
I'm sure you're wondering, what happened next. What did I do? Well, I did call him. I told him that I knew that he was cheating on me and lying about where he has been at night. I asked him how could he do this to me. He denied it, but more importantly I want to share something I learned from such a pitiful experience.
I was not a private investigator. I was a wife who was desperate to make her marriage work. When I felt like my husband was lying I was desperate enough for the truth to snoop. I became a Sherlock Holmes of some sort. What I should have done was trust my gut. What I should have done was walk away when the trust was broken. My gut never steered me wrong. I always thought I needed proof. I didn't trust it. My "gut", the Holy Spirit, my conscience; Whatever name you choose to refer to that thing that God gives us all, trust it. Moral of the story!
As, I tossed and turned, I thought about how it seemed that my husband was missing in action every night. Something told me, "Go check his email." I debated with myself for a few minutes. I finally went to yahoo and entered the password. I got a message saying the password was invalid. That couldn't be right, after all I was the one that created this email account for him right before the deployment. I entered the password again, no luck. Next I clicked on Forgot Password. I entered the answers to the security questions to gain access. At this point I new something was wrong. As soon as I gained access to the emails I see nude pictures of a female...I was shocked.
I look at the nude pictures of this woman and I am in disbelief. I click on the emails hoping to find that these nude pictures were sent to him unsolicited. No! Not my husband! Not the man who said he would never cheat! As I click on the emails I read conversations where my husband is telling this woman how much he can't stop thinking about her. He tells her how he hopes he didn't disappoint her in the bedroom. A part of me was afraid for his safety over there fighting for his country. While he was emailing back and forth about his many sexual encounters with this woman.
I'm sure you're wondering, what happened next. What did I do? Well, I did call him. I told him that I knew that he was cheating on me and lying about where he has been at night. I asked him how could he do this to me. He denied it, but more importantly I want to share something I learned from such a pitiful experience.
I was not a private investigator. I was a wife who was desperate to make her marriage work. When I felt like my husband was lying I was desperate enough for the truth to snoop. I became a Sherlock Holmes of some sort. What I should have done was trust my gut. What I should have done was walk away when the trust was broken. My gut never steered me wrong. I always thought I needed proof. I didn't trust it. My "gut", the Holy Spirit, my conscience; Whatever name you choose to refer to that thing that God gives us all, trust it. Moral of the story!
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