"You don't throw a gray rock, you become one."  When I left my husband almost a year ago I found it difficult to wrap my brain around not alienating our children from their father but also protecting myself and the children from him. I found myself fearful and anxious everytime I saw a text or email from him. He can be down right nasty and his words took a toll on me and our children. As the months went by I felt stronger each day that I didn't communicate with him. Weeks of strength seemed lost when I would answer the phone for him and find myself in a heated exchange of words.

Until one day I was just scrolling through Instagram and saw the hashtag #Grayrock. I looked at hundreds of posts about gray rock. For those of you that are new to what I call "Narcissist lingo" Gray Rock  method is a way of communicating with a Narcissist, Psychopath or abuser of any sort when going "No Contact" isn't an option. For example, When you have children and a court order won't allow you to completely cut all communication with the other parent. I have learned over the last year that Narcissists need supply, they need attention. Narcissists feed on your energy whether negative or positive. When you choose the Gray Rock method of communicating you become as boring as a gray rock. The purpose in going Gray Rock is to bore the narcissist to the point where they leave you alone and seek supply elsewhere.

In my case The Gray Rock method has been very positive. The less I engage with the narcissist the less I hear from him. The less I hear from him, the less I have nightmares about the narcissistic abuse me and our children suffered.  Our children are a lot happier the less they speak to him. Here are some of the steps I have taken to implement  Gray Rock:

I only email him if  it concerns the children or court-ordered financial business

I got a new cell phone number (that he doesn't have the number to) This one was easy too since he had my phone turned off abruptly

I got a landline where he can call the children.

I do not respond if he contacts me about anything concerning mine and his relationship and or he tries to start an argument

I blocked him on all social media

I do not communicate with anyone who I would consider neutral with him (this one was pretty easy considering how long he lived a double life

Gray Rock takes practice. I have had a few slip ups. I  communicated with him more than I should have and regretted it