It was a long flight from London to Dallas Texas. My family and I were making another big life transition as a military family. Things had been tense at the hotel between me and my husband. I felt uneasy. I felt like he might be hiding something. I kept asking my husband what was wrong, he would just respond saying, "Nothing." Mid-flight he finally spoke up. He looked me in my eyes and said, "You can't come to Arizona with me or I'm gone dog you out." He was serious. I responded with, " What do you mean?" He said that he didn't want to be married anymore. I was at a loss for words so I didn't say anything until we landed in Dallas.
In Dallas we were supposed to pick up my brand new car that my husband had purchased for me a few months prior. We were supposed to visit with family then drive the rest of the way to our new home in Arizona. In Arizona we had a realtor waiting to show us homes that we may be interested in purchasing. Once we arrived at our hotel for the night, I asked my husband, "What am I supposed to do? What about Sydney?" He said, "I don't know what you're goin to do but yall can't come with me!" I proceeded to ask him how long he knew that he felt this way and would I be able to keep my car. That's when he told me that he was taking my car. I called my dad who lived in Virginia and told him what my husband said. I told my dad how my husband and I had been trying to make the marriage work for months since I found out about an affair my husband had almost a year before this. It was then that my dad offered to buy me and my 4 year old daughter plane tickets to Virginia. My dad offered to help me get on my feet. I told my dad that I needed to talk to my husband again. I spoke to my husband again and he assured me that I would be miserable in Arizona. He said, "If you think I treated you bad in England, then come to Arizona with me." You would think that a 29 year old woman would have enough self worth to get far away from that man and never look back. I told him that my dad offered to fly me and my daughter to Virginia to stay with him. My husband said, "You should go." After begging and pleading with my husband for what seemed like hours, I called my dad and asked him to get us tickets A.S.A.P. I asked my husband to drive me and my daughter to the airport since the flight would be taking off within a few hours. It was already late and my daughter and I were drained.
We arrived at the airport and my daughter was fast asleep. I just sat on the floor in the corner holding my daughter, hoping my husband would change his mind. I felt lost. My husband began to tell me how this is the hardest decision that he has ever had to make. We both cried. Once it was time to check in and go through security I knew it was real. Me and my daughter were being discarded. I was a little relieved that my daughter slept through everything. It wouldn't be until 3 years later that I would learn about narcissism and the discard phase. I was crushed. My husband walked away and me and my daughter boarded the plane.
The flight to Virginia was smooth. I had my daughter and two suitcases. Once I saw my dad who I hadn't seen in 5 years, I collapsed in his arms and cried. My daughter had only seen my dad once when she was 6 weeks old, she was excited to see him. Once I arrived at my dads house I checked my email. I had one unread email, it was a Selfie of my husband showing me that he was sporting a new haircut and enjoying the sun. His email wasn't one of concern or sadness, it was one of joy and happiness. I was still reeling at the fact that he had thrown us away. Within a matter of hours I went from looking online at homes in Arizona and planning our future with my husband to being a single mother without a car living in my dads guest bedroom.
This was a difficult time for me. I have always been a praying woman However, no amount of prayers could alleviate the pain I felt. My daughter cried for her father almost everyday. I watched our joint bank account shrink lower and lower everyday with liquor store purchases and hotel transactions. Needless to say this hurt like hell. Have you been discarded by a narcissist? How did you cope?
Thanks for reading along about my journey as I heal from narcissist abuse. Make sure to subscribe below for updates. My story is still being written.
In Dallas we were supposed to pick up my brand new car that my husband had purchased for me a few months prior. We were supposed to visit with family then drive the rest of the way to our new home in Arizona. In Arizona we had a realtor waiting to show us homes that we may be interested in purchasing. Once we arrived at our hotel for the night, I asked my husband, "What am I supposed to do? What about Sydney?" He said, "I don't know what you're goin to do but yall can't come with me!" I proceeded to ask him how long he knew that he felt this way and would I be able to keep my car. That's when he told me that he was taking my car. I called my dad who lived in Virginia and told him what my husband said. I told my dad how my husband and I had been trying to make the marriage work for months since I found out about an affair my husband had almost a year before this. It was then that my dad offered to buy me and my 4 year old daughter plane tickets to Virginia. My dad offered to help me get on my feet. I told my dad that I needed to talk to my husband again. I spoke to my husband again and he assured me that I would be miserable in Arizona. He said, "If you think I treated you bad in England, then come to Arizona with me." You would think that a 29 year old woman would have enough self worth to get far away from that man and never look back. I told him that my dad offered to fly me and my daughter to Virginia to stay with him. My husband said, "You should go." After begging and pleading with my husband for what seemed like hours, I called my dad and asked him to get us tickets A.S.A.P. I asked my husband to drive me and my daughter to the airport since the flight would be taking off within a few hours. It was already late and my daughter and I were drained.
We arrived at the airport and my daughter was fast asleep. I just sat on the floor in the corner holding my daughter, hoping my husband would change his mind. I felt lost. My husband began to tell me how this is the hardest decision that he has ever had to make. We both cried. Once it was time to check in and go through security I knew it was real. Me and my daughter were being discarded. I was a little relieved that my daughter slept through everything. It wouldn't be until 3 years later that I would learn about narcissism and the discard phase. I was crushed. My husband walked away and me and my daughter boarded the plane.
The flight to Virginia was smooth. I had my daughter and two suitcases. Once I saw my dad who I hadn't seen in 5 years, I collapsed in his arms and cried. My daughter had only seen my dad once when she was 6 weeks old, she was excited to see him. Once I arrived at my dads house I checked my email. I had one unread email, it was a Selfie of my husband showing me that he was sporting a new haircut and enjoying the sun. His email wasn't one of concern or sadness, it was one of joy and happiness. I was still reeling at the fact that he had thrown us away. Within a matter of hours I went from looking online at homes in Arizona and planning our future with my husband to being a single mother without a car living in my dads guest bedroom.
This was a difficult time for me. I have always been a praying woman However, no amount of prayers could alleviate the pain I felt. My daughter cried for her father almost everyday. I watched our joint bank account shrink lower and lower everyday with liquor store purchases and hotel transactions. Needless to say this hurt like hell. Have you been discarded by a narcissist? How did you cope?
Thanks for reading along about my journey as I heal from narcissist abuse. Make sure to subscribe below for updates. My story is still being written.
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